Family Secrets? Or Stories Never Told?

We all have secrets in our family. But it's often the story that wasn't told and not some deep, dark secret. Judy Russell has a great talk about how knowledge can be lost in just a couple of generations. Regardless of how incredible it is, the story doesn't get passed on. Or it becomes like the game of telephone. It starts as the true story and ends up garbled and something totally different than the original.

My family is no different. The story of the family members who fought in the various wars was never passed down. The stories of their immigration to this country weren't discussed. None of these things were kept secret -- they just weren't shared. 

But we did have a couple of family secrets. 

A good example was learning that my great-grandfather, Albert Butzek, was a step-great-grandfather. No one talked about the fact that my great-grandmother had been married and divorced previously. Her first husband was the father of my grandfather and some of my aunts and uncles. This was unimportant to them since they considered Albert to be their father. As a genealogist, It was crucial to me to ensure I was tracking the right family. It wasn't that it was a deep dark secret. It just wasn't talked about, and there was an assumption that everyone knew about it. Well, I sure didn't.

After researching for a couple of years, I learned that my grandmother, Florence Halliday, had been married before she married my grandfather and had a child with this first husband. Imagine my surprise in learning that my dad had a half-brother that was never talked about. He had some challenges. It's unclear if they were physical or mental, but he died young, making it easier to keep him a secret. 

Divorce was definitely a taboo. So it just wasn't talked about. And things that aren't talked about, get forgotten. They become family secrets, hidden for generations, waiting to be uncovered by genealogists!!! 

This week's #52Ancestors Prompt is Family Secrets!